What's Your Nerdette Cred Rating?

News Type: Event — Tue Jun 24, 2008 11:00 PM EDT

technology, hot-chicks, naomi-wolf, camille-paglia, dana-scully, princess-leia, donita-sparks, seven-of-nine, geek-girl, a-v-club, nerd-girl, nerdette, suzi-gardner

Synthesis

This photo is here just for those who are reading this in the Hot Chicks group

Generic nerd girl

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Inspired by a thread on Lauhal's column, in which Scott Butki and I (and indeed, everyone else on the thread) revealed that we've always had a 'thing' for nerd girls, I got to wondering: Just what are the criteria for being considered a true nerdette?

After giving the issue some thought, and speaking as a something of a lifelong connoisseur of nerdettes, I offer the following ratings scale for your consideration. Take the test and see how much of a nerdette you really are!

You have read The Chronicles of Narnia more than 3 times. (1 point)

You think the The Chronicles of Narnia movie was great, but thought that there should have been more messianic imagery during the death of Aslan (2 points)

You have, or have had, a pet named Aslan (5 points)

____

You drive a VW Beetle (1 point)

You drive a VW Beetle because you like to say 'fahrfegnuven' (2 points)

You drive an original VW Beetle, not one of those fancy retro versions. (5 points)

____

You have watched all of the Star Trek series, and seen every episode of at least two of them. (1 point)

You know what the acronym TOS means when referring to Star Trek. (3 points)

You have actually attended a Star Trek convention (5 points and my phone number)

____

You wear glasses (1 point)

You wear glasses exclusively; no contacts, ever (...why Miss Smith! You're beautiful!) (3 points)

You wear cat-eye glasses (5 points)

____

You have removed the cover from your computer at least once (1 point)

You have successfully removed and replace graphics cards, video cards, sound cards or motherboards (3 points)

You program computers for a living (or at least as an enthusiastic amateur) (5 points). As a bonus, double your score for this question if you've ever actually hacked anything.

____

Your clothing is mostly shapeless (1 point)

Your mostly shapeless clothing is comprised of variations on shades of black, grey or brown (2 points)

You dress like Celestina (5 points)

____

You were born a brunette, and have stayed that way (1 point)

You were born a blonde, but dyed your hair brunette (3 points)

You were born a brunette, but have dyed your hair red like Gillian Anderson (5 points)

____

You prefer to use Excel even for text processing, on the off-chance that you might need to tally some numbers (1 point)

You won't use a Mac because it's harder to get 'under the hood' (2 points)

You still use WordPerfect because it allows you to make use of all the macros you developed (5 points)

____

You wore sensible shoes in high school (1 point)

You still wear sensible shoes, but now they're really expensive ones (3 points)

You wear orthopedic shoes (five points) (Whatever score you get on this category, double it if you have one pair of stilettos, just for 'fun'.)

____

You don't smoke, because it's scientifically proven to harm your health (1 point)

You smoke occasionally at social functions; sometimes, even a cigar if you get a little tipsy (3 points)

You smoke clove cigarettes (5 points)

____

You have a dog (1 point)

You have a cat (2 points)

Your dog, cat, parakeet or whatever is named any of the following: Linux, Emo, Spock, Spielberg, Pixel, Einstein, Hawking, Devo, Frodo, Spaz, Starbuck, Kubrick, Dr Pepper, or Cisco. (5 points)(Double your score in this category if you've named your pet 'Calvin Tang').

____

In high school, you dated someone who was in the A/V club (1 point)

In high school, you were in the A/V club (2 points)

You are currently dating someone who is still in the A/V club (5 points) (I gave ya that one, Ryan...)

____

Your female role model is Naomi Wolf or Camille Paglia, because they're so, like, post-feminist (1 point)

Your female role model is Donita Sparks or Suzi Gardner (2 points) (double that score if you actually recognized either of those names without having to google them)

Your female role model is Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero-One (5 points) (triple that score and email me if you've ever actually dressed like Seven of Nine at a Star Trek convention.

____

SCORING:

0-15 points -- You are a cheerleader. You should drop the pretence of being a nerd before you're found out. You wear far too much pink, your mother sold Avon part-time, and you think HTML is a chemical ingredient in chocolate. But cheer up, you have many cool sisters on this site who will be happy to relieve you of your pastel-coloured innocence and initiate you into the ways of nerdette-hood.

15-30 points -- Nice try. You're pretty nerdy, and you can probably sling some pocket-protector trash with the best of them. But beneath your unhip facade, you still yearn for the uncomfortable back-seat gropings with the quarterback that you missed out on in high school. Cheer up, though. Your six-figure salary should more than make up for the disappointment.

30-60 points -- You are a veritable icon of Nerdette-ity. Your post-adolescent awkwardness and discomfort have been replaced by a deep sense of being at home in your skin. You revel in the fact that you are brighter than most of the females, and almost all of the males, that you know. Women think you're cool, men think you're hot. You are a strong, smart, independent, but still geeky enough to be preciously unique.

60-85 points -- You are a true geek goddess. I may as well give you half the equity in a house and $1000 a month right now. You have within you the capacity to rule over Newsvine like a terrible and beautiful queen. All NV males should be required to approach on bended knee and offer gifts of link love and leaderboard votes. You are Seven of Nine, Dana Scully, Princess Leia and Marilyn vos Savant, all rolled into one delectably quirky package. (Did you get that part about calling me?)

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What's Your Nerdette Cred Rating?

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