On-Line Etymology: What, Exactly, is an Ass-Hat?

Which one is the ass-hat? I am so confused...(photo credit: helpbuythebeer.org)

One of my many responsibilities in my so-called day job is to facilitate large groups of people toward achieving consensus views on knotty strategic issues. It's often an emotionally draining task that leaves me wrung out and about as energetic as Steven Wright on an Oxycontin binge.

That's the main reason I tend to stay clear of those parts of Newsvine where flamewars have a tendency to break out and also the explanation for why I never weighed in on the torturous Hilllary vs Obama NV sufferfest...so much of what follows is based on hearsay, rather than personal experience.

Nevertheless, I have it on very good authority that there are those who are sometimes referred to as Ass-Hats among our number on Newsvine (don't look around; you know who you are), a phenomenon I find intensely interesting for no reason I can rationally explain without resorting to dubious Freudian observations about early childhood and anal expulsion.

But what I am most fascinated by is the etymology of this designation: Ass-Hat.

It has become so engrained in our lexicon that no less an online heavyweight than YouTube features an Ass-Hat of the Week award. Since 2005, there has been a site called Ass Hat Nation, and it would appear that sober and thoughtful television dramas like Boston Legal have joined the asshattery, with a 2005 episode titled The Ass Hat Jungle.

As is usual with emerging lexical cotton candy, big-name celebrities have glommed onto the reflected sheen of the Ass-Hat phenomenon with public figures such as Senate ejecta Rick Santorum having been tagged with the term, as well as perennial pee-er in the establishment punchbowl, Bill Maher (it's nice to know that the Ass-Hat label is politically non-biased). They've been joined in the bilabial headgear fraternity by none other than that bearded and venerable old gent Uncle Sam and defrocked Dem brain-truster Terry McAuliffe.

A varied crowd, indeed -- a tribute to the astonishing agility of this rude-yet-vague razzberry of a put-down.

Since I never encounted it before venturing into the online world, I am tiptoeing to the conclusion that the term Ass-Hat is yet another manifestation of online culture, like trolls, spammers and astroturfers. But how valid is this thesis?

In the name of investigative reporting, I decided to unleash the selfsame research techniques I deployed in my Crypto-History series to conclude that Ice-Age Man built luxury seaside marina condominiums and floated oil-tanker sized vessels laden with decorative clam-shells and amber beads in a global free trade network that predated the NAFTA superhighway by some 10,000 years.

Herewith for your consideration are some of my findings:

According to the Urban Dictionary, at least one of the sources of the term ass-hat does in fact have a cyber-origin:

7. ass-hat The act of crouching repeatedly over a dead opponents head while gaming, thus demoralizing said opponent with much pwning. Pwner: *Bang* Pwned: *Dies* Pwner: *Crouches repeatedly over dead body* Pwned: *Witnesses Pwner's ass repeatedly bouncing over head*, "Damn, I got ass-hatted."

Sadly, this determination is slightly less satisfying than you might think, largely because there are six other definitions, any of which meet the smell test as being as legitimate as this one. For example:

3. ass-hat Someone so incredibly stupid and/or ignorant that everything above their waist is useless; i.e. a hat for their ass.

or...

1. ass-hat One whose head is so far up their rear end it could pass for a hat

My assiduous research efforts began to hit pay dirt when I ran across the site Airbag Industries. There a poster named Narayan -- who appears to be a person of some highfalutin but vague authority (community admin?) on the site -- responded to a post which pondered whether the eruption of the term Ass-Hat on the prime-time zit-com The O.C. could be attributed to Airbag. Narayan's response:

I had several friends in Chicago who used asshat on a regular basis when I lived there in the early 90s. My wife (god bless her) used it well before she or I knew what Airbag was.

Ah, Chicago! City of Broad Shoulders (and gluteal headpieces, apparently). Wellspring of such immortally clever slang catchphrases as "sammitch" (a sandwich), "hizzoner" (the mayor, i.e., His Honour), "a true and true" (a through and through bullet hole), and "grachki" (garage key).

Now we're getting somewhere.

I put my many informants, stringers and paid sources to work (Ok...so I did a Google search pairing the word 'Chicago' with the exact phrase "ass hat".) Sadly, this tactic failed to uncover a reference dating back more than a couple years. After firing my minions (providing, them of course with job retraining sufficient to help them embark on new and more challenging careers as Wal-Mart greeters, thus demonstrating my simpatico with the plight of those forced into mid-career 'reset' as a result of the faltering economy), I took another, more nuanced, tack (I googled the word 'origin' coupled with the exact phrase "ass hat".)

A 2002 post on Fark.Com discusses the origins of ass hat, pausing briefly to wonder if Fark invented it, before deducing its real secret origin as a one-liner in a Billy Crystal movie (from back in the days when he was at least marginally funny).

minasaglar 2002-12-01 06:17:12 PM did fark invent asshat i think that is one thing we actually invented, at least i hope so

evilfish 2002-12-01 06:17:58 PM Didn't Asshat begin when we were trying to crash Ask Jeeves?

RelaximusPrime 2002-12-01 10:57:05 PM I got news for the 'asshat' enthusiasts, it all started with a slightly amusing little crap-fest called "Clitty Lickers". Whoops! I meant "City Slickers".
Observe:
[Ed Furillo accuses Mitch Robbins of flirting with Bonnie Rayburn]
Mitch Robbins:
That was "have a pleasant and restful evening."
Ed Furillo:
No, that was "I like your ass. Can I wear it as a hat?"
Hence, asshat...

So, Newsvine friends, once again, we have done it!

We have succeeded in tracking the etymology of one of the internet's most popular put-downs from its humble origins as a somewhat meaningless throwaway gag in a half-funny movie most noted for its role in (briefly) resurrrecting the career of Jack Palance. We have shown how this $3 gag writer's special has become (via the not-to-be-underestimated power of the internet and pop culture to homogenize the pride of homo sapiens, our language) the single most flexible chatroom / discussion thread insult in the internet today; a veritable Swiss Army Knife of derogation.

Unless you have any information to the contrary?

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